Art Imitating Life?

The State of Florida vs. Casey Anthony trial began two weeks ago. It's a case of a mother who allegedly* murdered her own two-year-old daughter. My mom has taken an interest in the trial which is being televised. I guess you can "take the woman out of law but..."  Anyway, I was watching a bit of the trial coverage with her and something really struck me. Lawyers aren't nearly as articulate and well calculated as they are in TV and movies! A real newsflash, right?

Obviously I realize that scripted, perfectly timed and well acted scenes could never actually happen in a courtroom but one of the defense attorneys for Casey Anthony stepped up to the podium to cross examine a State's witness and his very first question went something like this: "What, um --? When, uh --? Where are you from?" Now I can understand if you're 15, 10 or even just a few questions into the cross-examination and you're thinking of questions on the fly but come on, the very first question?! I could swear I was watching Austin Pendleton as defense attorney John Gibbons (Joe Pesci's/Vincent Gambini's comically stuttering co-counsel in the movie "My Cousin Vinny") in action!

But I did love it when another of the defense attorneys was completely outsmarted and outclassed by a witness. After the witness testified to Casey Anthony's demeanor, the defense attorney stormed up to the podium and aggressively stated "You have no idea how that child died!" The witness chuckled -- maybe even chortled -- at the statement and said something like "What do you want me to say to that? That's not a question." Having grown up in the 80s the three words that came to mind were "Burn! Shame! Cut down!" The attorney was just a little more humble but clearly perturbed. He dialed it down half a notch and asked "Do you know how the child died?" Classic! That's not even Law 101, that's high school debate class, Day 1! Pardon while I wipe my tears...

It reminded me of a time I had the unfortunate experience of taking part in a deposition.  I didn't outsmart or outclass anyone but during a deposition for my own car accident I was asked by the "bad guy" attorney, "How much stuff did you have in your car?" I thought to myself for a couple of seconds because the question had stumped me, sort of. Obviously I knew approximately how much stuff I had in my car but I had to ask in return, "How do you want me to quantify that?"  (Luckily I fought the urge to be a smart alec and continue my question with "number of items, total weight, total mass, by volume?") The attorney looked puzzled for a brief moment then looked at his notepad, grinned and said, "Good question." Hooray validation! Li'l ol' me asked an attorney a good question!

 Just Joe

* Used for liability purposes only


NEXT WEEK: The Wave... of American Flavors