Bottom of the Pile; Top of the World

I was wanting to save this for closer to World Series time but I've decided to open my old journal and share this now. I wrote this about 14 years ago so I was still a Cubs fan. I hope you like it.

Bottom of the Pile; Top of the World

Two are out, bases loaded and 1-nothing is the score.

I’ve thrown a hundred and forty pitches or more.

The pressure has built in inning number nine.

One out to go and glory can be mine.

This isn’t an ordinary game, it’s game 7.

To win this one would feel like heaven.

Since I was five I’ve yearned for this chance.

I turn to the stands and take a quick glance.

These 65,000 people have become a maniacal mob.

Back in the third inning my elbow began to throb.

Lucky for me my arm has long since been numb.

They love me now but one mistake and I’m “a bum.”

For 23 years this game has had my devotion.

Now millions of people hang on my every motion.

But my body is weak and my mind is tired.

I wish this hadn’t come down to the wire.

Okay, gather your strength, your thoughts and your mind.

The great ones look a bit deeper and have extra to find.

I know this guy wants to see my very best fastball.

Let’s look in to see what my catcher will call.

My mate thinks we should challenge him.

If I miss my spot, the result will be grim.

One inch off the outside corner?  No problem.

Just grab two seams with two fingers and a thumb.

Come on, Ump!  You gotta give me some of the black.

Can’t put it down the middle or it won’t come back.

Same pitch but this time let’s try the inside.

This is dangerous but it is a matter of pride.

Five hundred feet down the line!  Whew!  It’s foul.

What does the batter think?  Whoa!  What a scowl.

Definitely time to throw the ol’ slider.

I’m oh so tired but damnit, I’m a fighter.

Umph!  The batter sure was fooled by the spin.

Give him the number one way up and way in.

Didn’t plan for it to be that close to his chin.

He’s alright.  He dusted off and gave me a grin.

Catch your breath... take a stroll around the mound,

Fix the hat, play with the rosin bag that’s on the ground.

I’ll give him a slider ‘cause it’s nothing to pull.

Damn!  It missed low and now the count is full.

Oh, Lord, I’m exhausted.  Hows about a little relief?

How can such a great game cause me such grief?

Let’s end it now.  Fastball down Broadway with all I can muster.

It’s either Alexander The Great or General Custer.

Uh oh!  The hitter is taking a stride and a mighty swing!

He’s right on the ball.  Don’t think I’ll win a ring.

I can’t believe it went straight back!  God was smilin’.

Now I have another chance to send my team pilin’.

But I used my everything on that last pitch.

Now I know this effort will be last ditch.

I’ve no more ability to throw the ball hard,

so I’ll try to fool him though he’s on guard.

I’ll give him my pitch called the “circle change.”

Hopefully Lewis out in center will have the range.

I grip the ball in my hand just right

and make sure not to squeeze it too tight.

I release the ball at the perfect point.

Everyone is standing, I mean the entire joint.

After the swing, the ball gently enters the catcher’s mitt!

Then the batter goes off to have a fit.

After nearly a century filled with flubs,

the championship finally belongs to the Cubs.

Now my face can barely contain this ear to ear smile.

It sure is tough to breathe at the bottom of this pile!


Just Joe

Change, Anyone?

In a game on May 25, San Francisco Giants catcher Buster Posey was run over in a home plate collision with Florida Marlins centerfielder Scott Cousins. It happened in the 12th inning of a game in which the Marlins had blown a four-run lead in the ninth inning but Cousins' run was the go ahead and game winning run. Unfortunately, the collision was so violent that Posey's fibula was broken and several ankle tendons strained leading to the prognosis that Posey is likely to miss the rest of the season. Every reaction I've heard, professionals or not, is that the play was clean. And as much as I hate to defend a Marlins player, I agree 100%. What surprised me was the sudden outcry for banning or somehow regulating collisions at home plate.

I don't mean to sound like an old-time purist, though maybe I am, but for as long as baseball has been played there have been home plate collisions. The basic rule is "if you're blocking home plate prepare for a collision." There doesn't need to be any rules or mandates about avoiding contact on close plays at the plate. It's really quite simple: 1) if you are the runner and don't want to have a collision, pull up or slide. 2) if you are the catcher and don't want to have a collision, don't block home plate. Catch the ball in front of home plate and try to swipe tag or even jump into the baseline once the ball -- and your self -- is secure. It's a question of machismo versus common sense. Thrown baseballs travel faster than baseballs being carried. So catchers try to maximize air time by catching a thrown ball as late as possible by straddling home plate. This may put a catcher in harm's way, but it's something a catcher signs up for as far back as Little League.

My questions are: What if it were not a star player but a reserve player on a last-place team? Would there still be the same outcry? Why now? Pete Rose infamously destroyed Ray Fosse in a home plate collision while scoring the winning run in the 1970 All-Star game. That's right, a separated shoulder for blocking the plate in an exhibition game. No rules were changed then. (Urban legend has it that the collision ruined Fosse's career but I found this interesting, Why Pete Rose Didn't Ruin Ray Fosse's Career. There's also a lot more post collision Fosse injury reports on Wikipedia... but I have to draw the line somewhere, don't I?)  So why try to change the rule now?

Just Joe

So Tired of the Left

Every time I see it, it's "left" this and "left" that. Left, left, left, left, left!

I can't help but wonder "wouldn't NASCAR be a little more interesting if they had just a few races that went right each year?" In case there are any NASCAR fans reading this, I'm aware of the road courses that require both left and right turns but I'm questioning the oval races. I'm not a NASCAR fan in the least but if they had one race that was clockwise, I'd probably actually watch some of it just because it's different -- like inter-league play in Major League Baseball. Who knows, maybe in the few laps that I would watch I'd become hooked. It doesn't seem likely for me personally but they have to get their foot in the door somehow.

With the Indy 500 being run tomorrow (yes, I know that isn't NASCAR) it got me wondering why auto racing, and nearly all racing in the United States, is run counterclockwise. So I scoured the Internet for at least 15 minutes to find an answer.  Don't worry, it wasn't more than 20 minutes. Here are the more believable answers I found:

Why are NASCAR races run counterclockwise in the first place? Because at its inception NASCAR adopted horse racing's precedent.

OK, easy enough but I dug a wee bit deeper.

Why were horse races run counterclockwise? They weren't. Well, not outside of the U.S. Counterclockwise racing was introduced by American Revolution supporter William Whitley in 1780. The British had established clockwise horse racing so, of course, to be contrary Whitley began running horse races counterclockwise. Sounds plausible to me (see "Freedom Fries" circa 2002). The idea caught on and eventually stuck for the horses and was naturally held over for auto racing.

And the original question: Why not try the right?  The best answer I could find deals with driver safety. In American cars the driver side is on the left. So if they were to drive the track clockwise, the driver would be on the side of the car nearer the wall which leaves less car to crumple during an accident. Of course, that just means that currently they are driving with other cars on their left side instead of the wall! Which is more dangerous? I'm afraid that would take more than five minutes of Internet searching to find out so consider that question as reader homework. Although, I may spend five minutes composing an e-mail to see if I can get NASCAR's official response to racing clockwise. I'll be sure to update all of you who will be waiting with bated breath.

Just Joe


NEXT WEEK: Art Imitating Life?